Friday, May 7, 2010

Ramblings

I'm officially 5 months pregnant! Yay! Now if only I looked like I was 5 month pregnant rather than 7 months... My body is changing so much faster this pregnancy than last. Everything is going well. I'm at the point now where I'm holding my breath for that 26 week mark where the baby would potentially be viable outside my womb. Not that I want to meet her anywhere near that early, but it will be nice to know that if the worst happens, my baby will still have a shot. Only 4 more weeks to go till we get there!

Annabella is doing great. Apparently they sit her on the potty during diaper changes, and she went pee pee in the potty the other day! So exciting. We're not even trying to potty train her yet, but it's nice to think that it might not be too far off. And we'll probably start training her once we get a potty for her, but in a really relaxed way. Maybe just let her sit on the potty when she wants to and such for awhile. She doesn't really communicate with us enough yet to hope for much more than that.

Her daycare teacher puts her hair up in pigtails every now and then, which is soooo cute. I think I'm about ready to try again, but the last time I tried to do anything with her hair Annabella just would not sit still. So I asked her teacher how she gets Annabella to let her do it, and the teacher was like, "she just sits there for me". Of course she does. Because she is Little Miss Well-Behaved at daycare. When I told her teacher that that doesn't work for us, she said, "well, I usually do her hair right after nap time when she's calm because she's normally the first child up". To which I asked, "Isn't she usually one of the last ones you put down?" "Well, yes". So yep, my child is the one who takes the shortest naps. I wish I were surprised.

Jason felt the baby kick the other day for the first (and so far only) time. I feel a little bad that this baby isn't getting the same focus and devotion that Annabella got. I remember laying still for like 10 minutes with him just staring at my belly waiting for Annabella to kick. And when he finally saw the little bump that was her foot hitting my stomach, he teared up. This time it was an "Oh, that's cool! Let's go to sleep now." I have to believe that when this baby comes we will fall for her as hard as we fell for Annabella when we met her, but it's just hard to fathom. When I think of my baby girl, my mind usually wanders to Annabella. I think it might have been easier to differentiate in my head if this baby were a boy, but I have all sorts of irrational fears about how I'm going to feel now that I know she's a girl. And I really don't want to short-change this baby. And of course I'm also terrified of short-changing Annabella. Right now she's my sunshine, my reason to smile in the mornings, my beloved baby girl. I keep asking her how my favorite girl is. And then I wonder how she's going to feel when she has to share that title.

In some ways I just can't wait to meet this baby. And in others, I want life to stay just the way it is for a little while longer.

1 comment:

Candace said...

Amber,
I completely understand they way you feel, as do all parents I'm sure. There IS enough love to go around, but it's hard to imagine until the second (or third...) little baby arrives. Enjoy this time though, like you want, b/c it will not last for much longer!
Love,
Candace