Monday, May 17, 2010

Big Girl

Whenever I put Annabella to bed, I lay her in her crib on her side. (Okay, I admit it. It's more of a harsh plop rather than a gentle laying down, but she's heavy, and the crib sides are so high...and yeah, I'm mother of the year. I know.) Usually, as soon as her little body hits the mattress, she rolls to her tummy and tucks her legs under her, sticking her little butt up in the air. It is absolutely adorable. And my heart swells.

I'm saddened to report that the last couple of times I've put Annabella down, she's rolled over onto her belly and sprawled her arms and legs out, adopting a big girl pose.

Where has my baby gone?

I'm finding with this parenting thing that it's the little things that knock the breath out of me, make me want to cry. And this is one of those. A tiny passage in time is ending, and I miss it already. I'm so proud of Annabella and the big girl she is becoming, but oh how I miss my baby.

And to add insult to injury, I've noticed in the last week or two that she hasn't been as snuggly with me. It used to be that when I would take her down for breakfast in the morning she wouldn't let me put her down until I was ready to put her in her high chair. She would shriek if I even tried it. And oh, it was annoying. I kept trying to explain that I just needed to put her down so I could plop her toast in or get her milk out of the fridge, but she would have nothing to do with that. And now? My little girl takes off running and squealing as she runs circles in the house, full of energy and life.

Don't even get me started on the lukewarm greetings I've been getting when I pick her up from daycare. Three weeks ago she would have run to me as fast as her two little legs could carry her and not let go of me until we were leaving together. Last week when I picked her up, my darling little angel looked at me, then looked at the snack she was eating, and couldn't decide which she wanted more. When she finally got up, she ran around the room with her paper towel, pretending to look for the trash, but really stalling for time.

So while my heart swells with pride and love for my big girl, it's also a little shattered because I just can't stop missing the little girl who's growing up too fast.

4 comments:

Candace said...

oh amber, i SO know what you're feeling. it's amazing how quickly the little stages pass.

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Candace said...

Amber -

I read a blog titled "her bad mother". I started reading it mainly because her father passed away about a year ago now. However, take a look at her post today:

http://herbadmother.com/2010/05/nothing-gold-can-stay/

It sums up a lot of what you were saying about Annabella getting big.

i love love said...

this is what most mom says..their babies are growing so fast..where had all the years gone by..and perhaps what a mother could do is watch her baby grow every day..
- the movie connoisseur