Friday, August 27, 2010

I feel like I'm going to pop.

I'm due in 16 days. I don't remember being this physically miserable at the end of my pregnancy with Annabella, but maybe that's because Annabella was so small.

I feel a little guilty for it, since I know a lot of people have trouble getting pregnant and would love to trade places with me, but I really don't like being pregnant. There are some nice things about it, but I'm so ready to just meet this baby already. Or soon, at least.

I finally have my hospital bag mostly packed. The house is basically ready. We still need to clean out the cars and install the infant carseats.

I'm still terrified over how Annabella will handle the change. I hope she will love her sister, at least in time. I hope that she will be happy to have a little playmate. I hope that she will whisper secrets to her sister and hold her hand when she cries and give her tons of kisses. But right now I would settle for Annabella just not hating her sister.

Jason and I are going to go on one last date tonight while we still can, before we are overwhelmed by babyhood again. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm a little afraid that I'm going to end up sleeping through the movie. Putting me in a dark room with comfy seats and expecting me to stay awake might not be smart.

I think all of us are just really tired. Annabella's been cranky, and she's been waking up here and there at night. She'll put herself back to sleep most times, but she's making enough noise to wake the rest of us. And then Jason and I are both having troubles falling back asleep. I think the anxiety level is just up for all of us. I know I'm having a hard time shutting down my thoughts at night, and I don't think I'm alone in that.

That feels like enough rambling for today :)

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