They promised a long nap.

Apparently they don't know my child.

After Annabella woke up from the anesthesia she was quite unhappy, and she let us all know it. The nurses told us that she would be groggy and sleepy for awhile, but that she'd take a long nap and wake up and be better. And by this evening it would be like nothing had happened.

Annabella took a whopping 45 minute nap, and I'm being generous. She woke up, still a little groggy, but within a couple more minutes she was fine, crawling around and playing like normal. She had her surgery at 7:30 this morning, and the only lasting telltales 4.5 hours later are her blood-tinged ears, her slightly enhanced clumsiness (apparently she'll be a little dizzy for a bit), and she keeps grabbing at her ears. So all in all, she's doing fabulous.

I wish I could say that it was time to get the tubes, but I think we missed the time to get tubes a couple months ago and waited longer than we should. It's all a balancing act, and we were hoping she'd grow out of the need for them. But after ending up getting them, I wish we'd have spared her the months of continued ear infections. Oh well. Hindsight and all.

I can say that I feel like we made the right decision in finally getting them though. With the latest ear infection, she went through a 10-day course of Augmentin and then another 10 days of Omnicef. She's been off the antibiotics since Sunday...and the ear infection was already back. The doc said that when he opened her eardrums puss came out on both sides. Yum. Omnicef and Augmentin are the 2 stronger antibiotics they prescribe for ear infections, and neither of them had worked...so the only other option besides getting tubes was getting antibiotic shots...and besides being painful, I really don't like the idea of already being forced to go with the super heavy-duty antibiotics for my not-even-one-year-old. We didn't know ahead of time that her infection would be back of course, but it certainly helps me feel like tubes were ultimately the right decision.

Now I just hope that they do the job and she doesn't get so many infections. Or at least if she continues to get the infections that she won't be in so much pain from them.

Tubes

With this latest ear infection, Jason and I decided to take Annabella to the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doc). Our pediatrician told us that he thought it was time, especially since the summer months hadn't brought about the break we were hoping for. And with cold season rapidly approaching, we needed to do something.

The ENT we met with was very patient and answered all of our questions. At the end of the appointment, he asked if Annabella had had a hearing test since that first one they do at the hospital. We said she hadn't. As we were waiting for the hearing test, Jas and I basically decided to go forward with getting Annabella the tubes. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Then we had the hearing test...and if we weren't 100% convinced before, the hearing test would have certainly put us over the edge. At first they put these tube thingies in Annabella's ears, and they somehow measure the reverberations off of her eardrums. The measurement is supposed to look like a big peak. Annabella's looked like little hills, which indicates fluid behind both ear drums. This wasn't surprising.

Then we're taken into this little room. I hold Annabella on my lap, and Jason sits in front of us. His job is to get her to look forward, but not to overly distract her. Then noises come out of a speaker up and over Annabella's right shoulder. If she looks at the speaker, a box with toys lights up and the toys move around and clap and such. Once it stops, Jason gets her to look forward.

Easy enough, no? Well, Annabella responded to the very loud noises. And it could be that she was too distracted by how awesome Daddy is or that she didn't much care for the magic toys in the box, but she didn't look for the medium sound noises at all. Jas and I both had a hard time not looking over at the box ourselves.

So apparently Annabella is deaf. Ok, not really. But the testing indicates a possible 20-30% hearing loss, most likely because the fluid on her ears are blocking the sounds.

Jas and I got back to the office to wait for the ENT, and we bust out laughing. Because sometimes you have to laugh so that you don't cry.

So Annabella's getting tubes on Wednesday. It's supposed to be an incredibly simple procedure. She wears a gas mask to sedate her, they make little slits in her eardrums, and insert the tubes. As she grows, her eardrums will grow more skin and eventually push the tubes out. Until then, there is another avenue for fluid to drain, and if she gets another ear infection, we can give her antibiotic ear drops rather than oral antibiotics. Simple enough, but we're still scared silly.

On the upside, until Wednesday you can say just about anything you want in our house without worrying about little ears as long as you speak quietly. Stub your tie? Just be sure to whisper the bad words.

Drained

I can't even believe I'm typing this. Annabella has yet another ear infection. She hasn't even been off antibiotics for a week yet, and the ear infections are back on both sides. We're trying an antibiotic that didn't work the last time she was on it, and if it doesn't work this time, she'll have to get antibiotic shots.

To say I'm depleted would be an understatement. I feel that in the war against the ear infections, we've clearly lost. We might have won a battle here and there, but the ear infections, they have clearly beaten us to a pulp. And my daughter is once again in pain.

I feel powerless. I wish I could trade places with her. I wish I could better advocate for her. I wish I could make all her pain go away. But I can't take her pain away. I don't know the right path to take for treatment. And while I hear about how Mom always knows, and to never doubt a Mom when she says her child is sick, I fear that I lack this intuition. And I'm ashamed when I miss the signs because it means my baby has been hurting for longer than necessary. Afterall, I'm her Mom. I'm the one that's supposed to know. And I just don't.

Proud Momma

This week's been a big week for us. Annabella shows us what a big girl she's becoming every day. She plays more, and she's learning new skills. Yesterday, she stood up in the middle of the room without pulling up on anything for the first time. And then she did it over and over again. And today was the first time we saw her put food in her mouth and eat. She ate puff after puff, crunching away. And my heart just swells.

We're also breaking Annabella of her paci this week. We just had the 2 pacifiers; we couldn't find anymore like them. And those 2 have started to degrade. The rubber on the sides are pulling loose, and I'm afraid she might be able to pull some rubber off and swallow or choke on it. I can't say the transition has been smooth, but it's getting better. Last week, before we yanked the paci, Annabella went to sleep 3 times at night without crying at all. I just put her in her crib and she rolled over to her stomache, pulled her legs under her butt, and settled down to sleep. With how much of a struggle we've had getting her to sleep, I can't tell you what an accomplishment it is for her to learn to go to sleep on her own. I'm hoping we get back to that place soon without the paci.

How can anyone not just love that face?

At daycare today

Little Girl: I like your baby.

Me: Thank you!

LG: How old is he?

Me: She's almost 11 months.

LG: Is that 1?

Me: Almost.

LG: So she's zero?

Me: Yes. I guess so.

LG: Daddy! That baby is zero!

Kids are so cute.

Ear infections and teething and swine flu. Oh my!

Annabella has infections in both ears. Again. We've lost count of how many this makes. At this rate, we're headed for tubes.

In other news, the H1N1 is overtaking Annabella's daycare. So we have that possibility to look forward to. Her pediatrician says it's really no big deal. I'm still a little terrified. Especially after they told us today that her teacher, the one who cared for her most of the day yesterday, left early and was diagnosed with the flu. So yeah, exposure has pretty much been guaranteed.

All 3 of us have been fighting off some sort of cold off and on for awhile. I think we're all looking forward to feeling better at some point.

But it's not all bad news. The ear infections seem to be clearing up. We do not have the flu (at least not yet). Annabella's crawling around like a mad-woman, working on getting teeth, and generally being a happy baby. And life is still pretty good.

Oh, and I'm working on getting more Annabella pix.

You know you're a mommy when...

• You have snotty tissues in your pocket, but the snot isn't yours.
• Getting open-mouthed, slobbery kisses on your chin is the highlight of your day.
• "No touch" is the number 1 phrase in your vocabulary.
• If butt-smelling (poop-detecting) were an Olympic sport, you'd have a gold medal.