I could just add to the previous post, but that would be more work. Plus that post was about Annabella. This post is about me. So yeah, 3 posts, 1 day...
I had no idea what being a mom would be like before I had a baby. And really I don't think there's anybody who could have prepared me for it.
There's the good stuff, which is better than pretty much anything else. Like coming home at the end of the day to a baby that just can't contain her excitement to see you. And watching your baby experience new things. And getting slobbery open mouth kisses on your cheek (or sometimes your nose). And holding your baby close and smelling her baby skin. Really, there's nothing better.
But then there's the bad stuff. Like never getting 8 hours of sleep, ever. Like leaving your baby at daycare when all you want to do is hold her. Like needing a break from being Mommy so bad that you just can't take it, but then having a hard time taking that break when it's offered, knowing you're leaving your baby behind. Like missing your baby all day long and feeling like you don't get to spend enough time with her.
Some days I have a really hard time being a working mom. A really hard time. If Annabella looks at me with puppy dog eyes as I leave the daycare I almost can't take it. Today has been one of those days. And she's pretty much taken center-stage of my brain all day long.
I know that me working is good for my family for a number of reasons. Annabella likes daycare and gets a lot of good things from being there, a lot of things I couldn't really offer at home. We can more easily afford the things we need and want. And I'm a sane person (something that would probably not be true if I were a stay at home mom).
But all those things I know in my head. And today my heart hurts.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
2 Posts in 1 day!
Can it be? Am I posting twice in one day? Why yes, I am. After a month of neglecting the blog, there is Annabella news.
Besides the crawling, she has a tooth! I think all it took for her tooth to come in was for me to announce to the world that she was, in fact, not teething. I think it was about a week after that that her lower right tooth poked through her gums. And now she's working on getting her lower right one. I wish it would hurry up and break through her gums already. She's not been too terribly happy with the teething, and we've had lots of extra night wakings the past few days. I'd be pretty unhappy too if I had a giant bump in my gums where a tooth should be.
Also exciting Annabella news: she can pull to standing on her own. She needs something to hold onto, but she can pull up. And once she's up, she can stay up for a couple seconds without holding onto anything.
And maybe the most exciting on of all: Annabella first word is "Mama". Or not. My child, the one I carried around in my body for 9 months, the one who I've lovingly woken up to feed pretty much every night of the last 10 months, the one who I would give my life for...her first word is "Dada". The injustice of it all is pretty appalling. And it gets worse. Dada is "dada", but so am I. So when I stumble into her room at the ridiculously early hour that she wakes up, she looks up at me and says "Dada".
This past month has been pretty big for us with all the big milestones people ask us about, but I feel like I'm seeing her personality come out more and more all the time. In particular, watching her learn all these new skills has made me realize how cautious she is. For example, she wouldn't attempt crawling until she was sure she could get back to a sitting position, lest she be stuck lying on the ground. And she's very tentative about what she uses to pull up on. She doesn't just go after something...she thinks about it first. Not an altogether bad trait to possess.
Besides the crawling, she has a tooth! I think all it took for her tooth to come in was for me to announce to the world that she was, in fact, not teething. I think it was about a week after that that her lower right tooth poked through her gums. And now she's working on getting her lower right one. I wish it would hurry up and break through her gums already. She's not been too terribly happy with the teething, and we've had lots of extra night wakings the past few days. I'd be pretty unhappy too if I had a giant bump in my gums where a tooth should be.
Also exciting Annabella news: she can pull to standing on her own. She needs something to hold onto, but she can pull up. And once she's up, she can stay up for a couple seconds without holding onto anything.
And maybe the most exciting on of all: Annabella first word is "Mama". Or not. My child, the one I carried around in my body for 9 months, the one who I've lovingly woken up to feed pretty much every night of the last 10 months, the one who I would give my life for...her first word is "Dada". The injustice of it all is pretty appalling. And it gets worse. Dada is "dada", but so am I. So when I stumble into her room at the ridiculously early hour that she wakes up, she looks up at me and says "Dada".
This past month has been pretty big for us with all the big milestones people ask us about, but I feel like I'm seeing her personality come out more and more all the time. In particular, watching her learn all these new skills has made me realize how cautious she is. For example, she wouldn't attempt crawling until she was sure she could get back to a sitting position, lest she be stuck lying on the ground. And she's very tentative about what she uses to pull up on. She doesn't just go after something...she thinks about it first. Not an altogether bad trait to possess.
Crawling
Annabella has started to crawl. She's still very tentative about it, but if you watch her for long enough, she might just go for it.
I was at daycare today, and I was trying to get her to crawl toward me. I scooted back 3 or 4 feet, grabbed a toy xylophone, and urged, "Come on Annabella. Crawl to Mommy. You can get the toy..."
In typical Annabella fashion, she looked at the toy, was mildly interested, but chose instead to go for something much closer to in reach.
So I sat there for several minutes, trying to make the xylophone look like the best toy in the room. And it worked, over crawled Emma to grab the xylophone. Not quite what I was going for.
Well, Annabella took one look at Emma playing with her Mommy and her Mommy's toy and booked it over to steal it right out of Emma's clutches.
So all I really need to get Annabella moving is a little friend to be jealous of. Anybody volunteering their baby?
I was at daycare today, and I was trying to get her to crawl toward me. I scooted back 3 or 4 feet, grabbed a toy xylophone, and urged, "Come on Annabella. Crawl to Mommy. You can get the toy..."
In typical Annabella fashion, she looked at the toy, was mildly interested, but chose instead to go for something much closer to in reach.
So I sat there for several minutes, trying to make the xylophone look like the best toy in the room. And it worked, over crawled Emma to grab the xylophone. Not quite what I was going for.
Well, Annabella took one look at Emma playing with her Mommy and her Mommy's toy and booked it over to steal it right out of Emma's clutches.
So all I really need to get Annabella moving is a little friend to be jealous of. Anybody volunteering their baby?
Friday, June 19, 2009
We're still here
I know I haven't posted in awhile. OK...a long while. But I'm here now.
Annabella is almost 9 months old, and I can't believe how big she's getting. I think she's hit a growth spurt because she looks bigger to me every single day. And not too long ago I thought she'd be in her 6 month clothes for quite awhile longer, and now some of the 9 month clothes are pretty snug. Some of the 12 month clothes even appear to fit.
So besides all the growing, what else is new?
Annabella wore her first pair of overalls yesterday. A very proud moment for Momma. We didn't get a pic, but we'll make sure to snap one of her in them soon.
Annabella is SUPER ticklish, something she gets from me. Maybe the only thing she gets from me. Her personality and sleep patterns are all Jason. Anyway, she makes it a habit to fling herself backwards to get a view of the world whenever I'm feeding her and she thinks she's missing out on something important. One of these days she's going to fling herself off my lap. This morning, after she'd flung herself backwards, I was stroking her upper arm to get her attention. Apparently I'd hit a ticklish spot. I hate tickling her too much because it was and is torture for me to be tickled, but her laugh is just so awesome. So sometimes I can't help myself :) She breaks out into giggles pretty much every day from inadvertent tickling though...so much fun!
Annabella scoots. She shows virtually no interest in crawling and doesn't like her knees to be under her, but she can move towards what she wants with this funny scoot. It involves stretching her arms way in front of her, lifting her but up in the air, and somehow pulling her feet slightly towards her arms. The motion she makes doesn't appear conducive to movement, at least not in the right direction, but it works for her.
Annabella still has no teeth. People are all the time saying to me (and have been for a long time), "oh, it looks like she's teething!". But nope. Still no teeth. The pediatrician told us many weeks ago that she'd started the teething process and that you can visually see a tooth beneath her gums if you shine a light on them. But that's as far as the teeth have made it. No bumpy gums, no sharp points, nothing. Lots and lots of drool though.
Annabella finally has semi-official nicknames. I call her "Bullfrog" all the time. This started because we were singing "Annabella was a bullfrog, bum bum, was a good friend of mine..." and she LOVED it. And now she sits in a way that makes her look like a bullfrog; so the name really fits. And whenever Jas and I are reading a book to her with the word frog, we substitute it for "Annabella". We read her "I Love You, Good Night" every night, which says "I love you like frogs love flies". So I say "I love you like Annabellas love flies" and tell her that's what she looks like :)
Ms Kim at daycare calls her BellaBoo. Also too cute.
Jason's nickname for Annabella: "Slobbering Poop Machine". To be fair, he's not exactly wrong. He's even got a little jingle he sings with it.
Annabella is terrified of strangers. For a long time she loved everybody...now it takes awhile for her to warm up. She's especially terrified of Mr John, her music teacher. It might be the guitar, but whenever she sees him she totally flips out. He teachers her every Friday morning, and the past several Friday's I've spent a big portion of music class with her. I think this is going to just be the way it is for awhile.
Annabella sometimes gets really slap-happy when she's tired. She starts laughing at everything. And she's got this awesome belly-laugh (the best sound in the world). And she's just so much fun then. I know she's sleepy, but it's hard to put her to bed when she's like that. I just want to make her laugh.
Annabella LOVES food. Pears are her favorite, but she digs yogurt, apples and blueberries, bananas and mangos, sweet potatoes, and many more. Her food intake has gone way up in the last couple of weeks (another sign of the growth spurt). And even when she's really fussy, she calms down and sits there happily for a couple minutes when you put her in her high chair because she knows that food's on the way.
I'm sure I could go on all day long (cuz I think she's awesome), but I think that's it enough for now.
Annabella is almost 9 months old, and I can't believe how big she's getting. I think she's hit a growth spurt because she looks bigger to me every single day. And not too long ago I thought she'd be in her 6 month clothes for quite awhile longer, and now some of the 9 month clothes are pretty snug. Some of the 12 month clothes even appear to fit.
So besides all the growing, what else is new?
Annabella wore her first pair of overalls yesterday. A very proud moment for Momma. We didn't get a pic, but we'll make sure to snap one of her in them soon.
Annabella is SUPER ticklish, something she gets from me. Maybe the only thing she gets from me. Her personality and sleep patterns are all Jason. Anyway, she makes it a habit to fling herself backwards to get a view of the world whenever I'm feeding her and she thinks she's missing out on something important. One of these days she's going to fling herself off my lap. This morning, after she'd flung herself backwards, I was stroking her upper arm to get her attention. Apparently I'd hit a ticklish spot. I hate tickling her too much because it was and is torture for me to be tickled, but her laugh is just so awesome. So sometimes I can't help myself :) She breaks out into giggles pretty much every day from inadvertent tickling though...so much fun!
Annabella scoots. She shows virtually no interest in crawling and doesn't like her knees to be under her, but she can move towards what she wants with this funny scoot. It involves stretching her arms way in front of her, lifting her but up in the air, and somehow pulling her feet slightly towards her arms. The motion she makes doesn't appear conducive to movement, at least not in the right direction, but it works for her.
Annabella still has no teeth. People are all the time saying to me (and have been for a long time), "oh, it looks like she's teething!". But nope. Still no teeth. The pediatrician told us many weeks ago that she'd started the teething process and that you can visually see a tooth beneath her gums if you shine a light on them. But that's as far as the teeth have made it. No bumpy gums, no sharp points, nothing. Lots and lots of drool though.
Annabella finally has semi-official nicknames. I call her "Bullfrog" all the time. This started because we were singing "Annabella was a bullfrog, bum bum, was a good friend of mine..." and she LOVED it. And now she sits in a way that makes her look like a bullfrog; so the name really fits. And whenever Jas and I are reading a book to her with the word frog, we substitute it for "Annabella". We read her "I Love You, Good Night" every night, which says "I love you like frogs love flies". So I say "I love you like Annabellas love flies" and tell her that's what she looks like :)
Ms Kim at daycare calls her BellaBoo. Also too cute.
Jason's nickname for Annabella: "Slobbering Poop Machine". To be fair, he's not exactly wrong. He's even got a little jingle he sings with it.
Annabella is terrified of strangers. For a long time she loved everybody...now it takes awhile for her to warm up. She's especially terrified of Mr John, her music teacher. It might be the guitar, but whenever she sees him she totally flips out. He teachers her every Friday morning, and the past several Friday's I've spent a big portion of music class with her. I think this is going to just be the way it is for awhile.
Annabella sometimes gets really slap-happy when she's tired. She starts laughing at everything. And she's got this awesome belly-laugh (the best sound in the world). And she's just so much fun then. I know she's sleepy, but it's hard to put her to bed when she's like that. I just want to make her laugh.
Annabella LOVES food. Pears are her favorite, but she digs yogurt, apples and blueberries, bananas and mangos, sweet potatoes, and many more. Her food intake has gone way up in the last couple of weeks (another sign of the growth spurt). And even when she's really fussy, she calms down and sits there happily for a couple minutes when you put her in her high chair because she knows that food's on the way.
I'm sure I could go on all day long (cuz I think she's awesome), but I think that's it enough for now.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
New Pictures and Update
New picture are up at http://annabellag.shutterfly.com/
We haven't been writing as much lately, sorry about that, hopefully we'll do some more posting soon. Here are a few quick updates:
We haven't been writing as much lately, sorry about that, hopefully we'll do some more posting soon. Here are a few quick updates:
- Annabella, despite fighting thrush, has been going to sleep much better now.
- At a recent doctor's appointment she weighed in at 15 lbs 6.5 oz which was at the 12th percentile.
- She plays peek-a-boo but doesn't quite understand that she needs to cover her eyes. She just lifts something above her head, and then pulls it down and waits for someone to say peek-a-boo.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Baby Whisperer
I reached my breaking point Tuesday night. Annabella was sleeping in my bed and was up at 2:30 and wouldn't go back to sleep, instead playing and crying/screaming when I'd try to get her to go back to sleep. We finally got her back down, just to have her wake up at 5am and not go back to sleep for the day. The sleeping in my bed option was great when it was the no-cry method. Now that she was screaming even when I was holding her just right and snuggling with her and doing everything I knew how, I just couldn't take it anymore!
Annabella just couldn't fall asleep on her own, at least not if she wasn't in her carseat in the moving car. And the surest way to make her scream bloody murder would be to set her in her crib.
I know my lovely daughter is teething, and that can hurt. And I know that if I gave her baby Motrin and tried one more night with me that it might have been different, but I just couldn't take the chance. If I'd given her the Motrin and still had another night of her kicking and arching her back to get out of my arms while screaming as I'm trying to get her the precious sleep she needs, I don't know that I could've taken it.
So last night we tried something different (besides the Baby Motrin). We found Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer sleep method, and it sounded like something we could handle. Here's the gist of it: We do our nighttime routine, then put Annabella in her crib. If she cries, we immediately pick her up and comfort her. As soon as she is calm, we put her back in her crib. Repeat until Annabella realizes that crying will not mean that she gets to sleep in Mommy's arms and that she needs to sleep in her crib.
At first it was ridiculous. Annabella would be crying before I even set her down. As soon as her body was hanging over her crib there'd be screams. And the book didn't really make it clear what to do if that happened. So I made a rule that I put her down, then exit the room, touch the stair railing and take a breath, turn around and pick her up. Because really, she wouldn't have ever left my arms.
By the end it was taking much longer to console her, but she was staying consoled much longer. Jas and I also found that we no longer had to actually pick her up to console her, which was good as my neck was starting to kill me from repeatedly throwing her weight around to get her in the right sleepy time positions. We could just lean over the crib and rock her or rub her forehead. Sometimes just standing be the crib was enough. That right there was progress.
And after about 2 hours, she was done really crying. She'd half-cry/whimper a little, but was calming herself and didn't need us. And soon she was asleep!
Then in the middle of the night she put herself back to sleep with almost no effort from me after I'd fed her.
And at daycare today she took a 55-minute nap, which is huge! HUGE! I think 55 minutes of sleep might be a daycare record for her, let alone in one nap!
So right now I'm pretty much on top of the world, hoping that we've found our answer. Now we'll just see how tonight goes.
My subconscious might not agree with how great this was though. Last night I dreamed I was locked in my Mom's house and that she'd put a poisonous snake in there that was hungry and was chasing me around. In my dream I even though, "Mom's trying to kill me!" I'm not Freud expert or anything, but if I had to guess...I think maybe my subconscious thinks I spent last night torturing my child. Oh well, my subconscious can just suck it. This sleeping thing rocks!
Annabella just couldn't fall asleep on her own, at least not if she wasn't in her carseat in the moving car. And the surest way to make her scream bloody murder would be to set her in her crib.
I know my lovely daughter is teething, and that can hurt. And I know that if I gave her baby Motrin and tried one more night with me that it might have been different, but I just couldn't take the chance. If I'd given her the Motrin and still had another night of her kicking and arching her back to get out of my arms while screaming as I'm trying to get her the precious sleep she needs, I don't know that I could've taken it.
So last night we tried something different (besides the Baby Motrin). We found Tracy Hogg's Baby Whisperer sleep method, and it sounded like something we could handle. Here's the gist of it: We do our nighttime routine, then put Annabella in her crib. If she cries, we immediately pick her up and comfort her. As soon as she is calm, we put her back in her crib. Repeat until Annabella realizes that crying will not mean that she gets to sleep in Mommy's arms and that she needs to sleep in her crib.
At first it was ridiculous. Annabella would be crying before I even set her down. As soon as her body was hanging over her crib there'd be screams. And the book didn't really make it clear what to do if that happened. So I made a rule that I put her down, then exit the room, touch the stair railing and take a breath, turn around and pick her up. Because really, she wouldn't have ever left my arms.
By the end it was taking much longer to console her, but she was staying consoled much longer. Jas and I also found that we no longer had to actually pick her up to console her, which was good as my neck was starting to kill me from repeatedly throwing her weight around to get her in the right sleepy time positions. We could just lean over the crib and rock her or rub her forehead. Sometimes just standing be the crib was enough. That right there was progress.
And after about 2 hours, she was done really crying. She'd half-cry/whimper a little, but was calming herself and didn't need us. And soon she was asleep!
Then in the middle of the night she put herself back to sleep with almost no effort from me after I'd fed her.
And at daycare today she took a 55-minute nap, which is huge! HUGE! I think 55 minutes of sleep might be a daycare record for her, let alone in one nap!
So right now I'm pretty much on top of the world, hoping that we've found our answer. Now we'll just see how tonight goes.
My subconscious might not agree with how great this was though. Last night I dreamed I was locked in my Mom's house and that she'd put a poisonous snake in there that was hungry and was chasing me around. In my dream I even though, "Mom's trying to kill me!" I'm not Freud expert or anything, but if I had to guess...I think maybe my subconscious thinks I spent last night torturing my child. Oh well, my subconscious can just suck it. This sleeping thing rocks!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Round 2
An 8 out of 10 bulging ear infection.
Sounds lovely, doesn't it? The doc said that if you or I had Annabella's latest ear infection, that we'd be on Vicodin. But kids are resilient he tells me, as Annabella sits there stoically.
Right about now I feel like the world's worst mother. You see, Annabella and I both got sick Sunday night. We were both stuffy and altogether miserable. And Annabella had a miserable night, waking at least one point in the night and screaming inconsolably for a minute or 2. Had I not been sick as well, or had she not calmed down and went back to sleep after just a couple minutes, I might have had the foresight to take her to the doctor Monday. But instead I was just consumed by my own sickness and Annabella was in a sour mood, but I mostly thought she was just bored by Mommy who was too tired to entertain.
Then Monday night came. And she was up every 45 minutes whimpering. And she had such a hard time sleeping. And I gave her Tylenol, but only grudgingly. And I saw her pulling at her ear and being unhappy, but I thought maybe it was just the pressure from her congestion. To my credit, the words ear infection did come to mind as well. But the last time we had her checked for an ear infection, she had a sore throat. And I felt dumb.
So Tuesday we make her an appointment at the doctor, partly because I think her ears should be checked, but hugely because we had to get her medically cleared for daycare due to all the swine flu scariness. And at this appointment is where we hear the phrases "bulging ear infection", "an 8 out of 10", and "an adult with this infection would be on Vicodin".
So thank you swine flu. Thanks for making us take our sick little baby to the doctor so that we could learn that she's in pretty bad pain with an ear infection. Mommy was a little too self-absorbed with her own sickness to see it :(
The good news is that the pediatrician went straight to Augmentin this time for her antibiotic, which is what worked last time, and Annabella slept much much much better last night. So hopefully our cheerful bundle of joy will be cheerier soon.
Sounds lovely, doesn't it? The doc said that if you or I had Annabella's latest ear infection, that we'd be on Vicodin. But kids are resilient he tells me, as Annabella sits there stoically.
Right about now I feel like the world's worst mother. You see, Annabella and I both got sick Sunday night. We were both stuffy and altogether miserable. And Annabella had a miserable night, waking at least one point in the night and screaming inconsolably for a minute or 2. Had I not been sick as well, or had she not calmed down and went back to sleep after just a couple minutes, I might have had the foresight to take her to the doctor Monday. But instead I was just consumed by my own sickness and Annabella was in a sour mood, but I mostly thought she was just bored by Mommy who was too tired to entertain.
Then Monday night came. And she was up every 45 minutes whimpering. And she had such a hard time sleeping. And I gave her Tylenol, but only grudgingly. And I saw her pulling at her ear and being unhappy, but I thought maybe it was just the pressure from her congestion. To my credit, the words ear infection did come to mind as well. But the last time we had her checked for an ear infection, she had a sore throat. And I felt dumb.
So Tuesday we make her an appointment at the doctor, partly because I think her ears should be checked, but hugely because we had to get her medically cleared for daycare due to all the swine flu scariness. And at this appointment is where we hear the phrases "bulging ear infection", "an 8 out of 10", and "an adult with this infection would be on Vicodin".
So thank you swine flu. Thanks for making us take our sick little baby to the doctor so that we could learn that she's in pretty bad pain with an ear infection. Mommy was a little too self-absorbed with her own sickness to see it :(
The good news is that the pediatrician went straight to Augmentin this time for her antibiotic, which is what worked last time, and Annabella slept much much much better last night. So hopefully our cheerful bundle of joy will be cheerier soon.
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