Baby G made it off the waiting list and into the cheap daycare subsidized by my company. We have our orientation for it tomorrow. The daycare has a really good reputation; so I'm pretty excited. Plus, with my company footing a huge portion of the bill, Jas and I will literally save thousands per year that she's there. Pretty sweet.
Also, in other very exciting news, the floors have been laid. We're getting them sanded and sealed next week. I'm so excited that I will soon get my house back. And they look soooo pretty :) (A big thanks to Jon B for helping so much with this! We owe you some serious manual labor.)
And we're going to prompty spend some of that money we're saving on daycare to hire somebody to come in and paint a bunch of our rooms. I know this is something we could do ourselves, but painting is not fun at all. And the timing is really ideal since the rooms will already be empty. Plus, we've beat the walls up pretty badly putting the floors in; so we really would have to fix a bunch of them...and it would be nice to have all of this done before the baby comes. Yay!
So lots of fun stuff going on here. Lots of work still to be done to prepare for the floor finishers and wall painter (tools to put away, sawdust to clean up, wallpaper to remove), but we're close.
And then we can actually have people into our house to visit. And we can actually cook dinner. And we can buy wall hangings and area rugs and dining room tables and finish some of our rooms. And they'll actually be usable. Maybe it's because of that whole nesting instinct and such, but the thought of all this makes me giddy :)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Follow-up ultrasound
Our appointment went well yesterday. I spoke to the doctor, and I'm less concerned now than I was before. This is the gist of what he said (that I remember at least).
1) They really think that Baby G's small size is a dating issue. But they won't move my due date anyway because of how far along I am. (This makes me wonder when exactly they do move due dates...since they wouldn't move mine earlier either...)
2) All babies under the 10th percentile for size are considered to have an intrauterine growth restriction. The majority of these babies are fine. They just pay extra attention to these small babies because problems are more prevalent here.
3) We would have most likely seen other bad things if there were something actually wrong with the baby (like a chromosomal abnormality or an infection.) He said that a lot of these babies are way undersized or that you see other problems with them.
4) We can take it as a good sign that Baby G has stayed pretty close to the 10th percentile curve on the graph, and hasn't shown a dramatic drop in growth. If she weren't getting what she needed from my body, we most likely would have seen a more normal growth early on followed by a pretty drastic drop off in growth on the graph.
5) Unless something changes (like a bad doppler test or if she drops to like the 3rd percentile), they won't just automatically induce me early. If my body doesn't look like it's ready to be induced, they'll most likely let me wait awhile. They might even let me go past my due date still...this is still unlikely though.
6) They're not really worried that Baby G is getting neurological problems by staying in me. The doctor said that this is a bit of a murky area, but that IUGR babies that do have neurological problems were most likely small due to the neurological problems, and not the other way around. So we're not really frying her brain even if she's not getting quite what she needs from me.
7) The main thing they are worried about with IUGR babies is stillbirth. And yes, that would suck a whole lot. But as long as she's still kicking, I can relax.
Most of this was apparently NOT new info. Jason heard and understood a lot of this from the appt last week. I however heard "they might induce me early" and shutdown for a bit, hearing nothing else. So it was really nice that the doctor patiently retold us all of this. And it was nice that I was actually prepared to hear it this time.
We did get a sorta decent picture from her this week though:
You can sorta see her little face and hands. I think this is the best we're going to get. Apparently, it's not just that she's keeping her face down by my hip bones...there's also less amniotic fluid in that area, which means not as good pix. In this one she's actually facing towards my belly...so I don't expect to see anything clearer until I pop.
1) They really think that Baby G's small size is a dating issue. But they won't move my due date anyway because of how far along I am. (This makes me wonder when exactly they do move due dates...since they wouldn't move mine earlier either...)
2) All babies under the 10th percentile for size are considered to have an intrauterine growth restriction. The majority of these babies are fine. They just pay extra attention to these small babies because problems are more prevalent here.
3) We would have most likely seen other bad things if there were something actually wrong with the baby (like a chromosomal abnormality or an infection.) He said that a lot of these babies are way undersized or that you see other problems with them.
4) We can take it as a good sign that Baby G has stayed pretty close to the 10th percentile curve on the graph, and hasn't shown a dramatic drop in growth. If she weren't getting what she needed from my body, we most likely would have seen a more normal growth early on followed by a pretty drastic drop off in growth on the graph.
5) Unless something changes (like a bad doppler test or if she drops to like the 3rd percentile), they won't just automatically induce me early. If my body doesn't look like it's ready to be induced, they'll most likely let me wait awhile. They might even let me go past my due date still...this is still unlikely though.
6) They're not really worried that Baby G is getting neurological problems by staying in me. The doctor said that this is a bit of a murky area, but that IUGR babies that do have neurological problems were most likely small due to the neurological problems, and not the other way around. So we're not really frying her brain even if she's not getting quite what she needs from me.
7) The main thing they are worried about with IUGR babies is stillbirth. And yes, that would suck a whole lot. But as long as she's still kicking, I can relax.
Most of this was apparently NOT new info. Jason heard and understood a lot of this from the appt last week. I however heard "they might induce me early" and shutdown for a bit, hearing nothing else. So it was really nice that the doctor patiently retold us all of this. And it was nice that I was actually prepared to hear it this time.
We did get a sorta decent picture from her this week though:
You can sorta see her little face and hands. I think this is the best we're going to get. Apparently, it's not just that she's keeping her face down by my hip bones...there's also less amniotic fluid in that area, which means not as good pix. In this one she's actually facing towards my belly...so I don't expect to see anything clearer until I pop.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Kick counting
I suck at counting kicks. You'd think I'd be able to do this simple task. But nope. I lose track.
I'm supposed to pick 2 hours in a day, and pay attention to her movements. She's supposed to move 10 times in that 2 hours. And it can be small movements. Like a hiccup counts.
I can even cheat and pick a time when I notice her being super active and start counting then.
Part of this isn't really my fault... Well, maybe it still is. It's just that I feel like I'm cheating if I count multiple movements too close together...like, maybe it's just one movement. So maybe I'm padding the numbers, you know? But where do you cut this off?
If I feel her move pretty continuously for several minutes, then I think that's supposed to be enough. But what if it's just one giant continuous movement?
So at the end of the day, I tell myself that tomorrow I'll do better. I'll pay more attention, and I'll count the kicks. And I'll try harder to distinguish separate movements.
Maybe tomorrow will be that day.
I'm supposed to pick 2 hours in a day, and pay attention to her movements. She's supposed to move 10 times in that 2 hours. And it can be small movements. Like a hiccup counts.
I can even cheat and pick a time when I notice her being super active and start counting then.
Part of this isn't really my fault... Well, maybe it still is. It's just that I feel like I'm cheating if I count multiple movements too close together...like, maybe it's just one movement. So maybe I'm padding the numbers, you know? But where do you cut this off?
If I feel her move pretty continuously for several minutes, then I think that's supposed to be enough. But what if it's just one giant continuous movement?
So at the end of the day, I tell myself that tomorrow I'll do better. I'll pay more attention, and I'll count the kicks. And I'll try harder to distinguish separate movements.
Maybe tomorrow will be that day.
Feeling exhausted right now
Most the time I feel like I'm handling the stress of all this crazy baby stuff pretty well. After all, worrying at this point isn't going to help anything.
And then every once in a while I just break down when I don't expect it.
Jason and I took a labor/delivery support class tonight, which focused on coping techniques through a natural labor and delivery. At one point, the instructor wanted each of us to take 2 minutes to tell our partner our concerns about labor/delivery/baby/etc. And the tears started rolling down my face before we even began, while she was still talking.
I think I've spent so much time and effort actively trying not to worry that it was just totally overwhelming to be told to focus on it for even 2 minutes.
We've been scared repeatedly, and we've known for a long time that she's small. Analytically, I understand that they haven't really given us a whole ton of new info to freak out over. But apparently my emotional self hasn't exactly caught up.
I think all the scariness they've been heaping onto us has sorta overwhelmed all the other regular scary things as well. So I haven't even thought very much about what it will be like to have her home with us, and how hard that will be...at least I haven't thought about it in a real way. And all of that is there below the surface, but it seems absurd to think about those things with all of these bigger concerns looming.
I just want her to be healthy. The rest will come.
I just hate this waiting game.
And then every once in a while I just break down when I don't expect it.
Jason and I took a labor/delivery support class tonight, which focused on coping techniques through a natural labor and delivery. At one point, the instructor wanted each of us to take 2 minutes to tell our partner our concerns about labor/delivery/baby/etc. And the tears started rolling down my face before we even began, while she was still talking.
I think I've spent so much time and effort actively trying not to worry that it was just totally overwhelming to be told to focus on it for even 2 minutes.
We've been scared repeatedly, and we've known for a long time that she's small. Analytically, I understand that they haven't really given us a whole ton of new info to freak out over. But apparently my emotional self hasn't exactly caught up.
I think all the scariness they've been heaping onto us has sorta overwhelmed all the other regular scary things as well. So I haven't even thought very much about what it will be like to have her home with us, and how hard that will be...at least I haven't thought about it in a real way. And all of that is there below the surface, but it seems absurd to think about those things with all of these bigger concerns looming.
I just want her to be healthy. The rest will come.
I just hate this waiting game.
Friday, August 15, 2008
A little scared today continued
After our Friday morning Ultrasounds we typically have Friday afternoon with the Midwives. This is usually anticlimactic compared to the morning sessions but this week was entirely different.
Amber picked me up from work and like usual I jumped into the drivers seat. I started a heated bitch session about what is currently stressing me out at work. It went on for so long and was so distracting that 5 or so minutes into it Amber realized that we were actually on the wrong road. I had meant to take 147 S to 40 W, but had instead taken 147 N. I got off at the next exit and looped back onto 147 S. 40 W was three exits away but for some reason in the heat of the moment I just got off at the next exit. I realized my error immediately, apologized, and drove through the green light to get back on the road. Continuing to bitch about work though, I made the same mistake again, and took the next exit. This one didn't make it easy to get back on the highway; I had to make a left, then a U-turn. I felt like a bit of an idiot and apologized again, but then got on track and made pretty good time to UNC.
We made it to our appointment only about 10 minutes late. I never realized that the students were what accounted for all the congestion that we typically see, but it's the only explanation for the extremely light traffic that made sense. The clinic was about to close so we actually got in right away (positive reenforcement to continue to show up late). They took Amber's blood pressure and weight immediately. Her blood pressure was a bit high at 145 / 89 (probably due to her annoyance at me, which to her credit she hid pretty well) so the nurse, instead of letting her relax for a few minutes and try again instead ordered a urine test.
Hypertension can be a symptom of preeclampsia and a cause of IUGR (IntraUterine Growth Restriction), which we were just warned about during our ultrasound. The test showed proteins and blood in the urine. The proteins could be caused by preeclampsia or it could be there because of the blood. Blood in the urine is apparently nothing to worry about on its own though because it could be from many things including the baby hitting Amber's bladder alot.
The combination of her small fetal weight, Amber's high blood pressure and the protein in the urine was a cause for concern and they wanted to run additional labs. Since it is after 4 on a Friday we'd typically have to wait until Tuesday for our results. Since preeclampsia can be a big deal I guess they decided that they would instead admit us into labor and delivery so we could get our lab results back in an hour, and during that time they could continue to monitor Amber's blood pressure as well as the fetal heart rate.
We were a bit shocked by the news of being checked in and wanted to understand what could happen depending on what the results of the tests showed. The midwife explained that in the worst case they would keep us admitted, and said or at least implied that they would then induce birth that weekend. We freaked out a bit, cried some, and realized how we were so not ready quite yet.
We get to the room, hooked up to all the machines and learned the normal ranges for the numbers on the monitor. They draw Amber's blood and have her take another urine test. As we sit longer, we see her heart rate drop back into her normal range: 119 / 66, and we start to feel alot better. That and the fetal heart rate behaving perfectly normally for half an hour really put us at ease. We felt as though we just had to wait for the results to come back so we could leave. They eventually came back, and as we expected they were normal. The process from walking in the door, to being checked out took about 3 and a half hours.
We went to the cafe to eat and then drove home and I managed to not make any wrong turns. One additional thing to mention is Amber is doing a couple of research studies during her pregnancy and maybe because the people running the studies tend to have a bit more free time, but they stopped by, talked to us and were very comforting and reassuring. It was really nice to have them there especially in labor and delivery when we were otherwise left alone. Two very long, stressful events today, but we are mostly filled with relief and looking forward to 6 whole days without having to see a doctor, nurse or ultrasound technician.
Amber picked me up from work and like usual I jumped into the drivers seat. I started a heated bitch session about what is currently stressing me out at work. It went on for so long and was so distracting that 5 or so minutes into it Amber realized that we were actually on the wrong road. I had meant to take 147 S to 40 W, but had instead taken 147 N. I got off at the next exit and looped back onto 147 S. 40 W was three exits away but for some reason in the heat of the moment I just got off at the next exit. I realized my error immediately, apologized, and drove through the green light to get back on the road. Continuing to bitch about work though, I made the same mistake again, and took the next exit. This one didn't make it easy to get back on the highway; I had to make a left, then a U-turn. I felt like a bit of an idiot and apologized again, but then got on track and made pretty good time to UNC.
We made it to our appointment only about 10 minutes late. I never realized that the students were what accounted for all the congestion that we typically see, but it's the only explanation for the extremely light traffic that made sense. The clinic was about to close so we actually got in right away (positive reenforcement to continue to show up late). They took Amber's blood pressure and weight immediately. Her blood pressure was a bit high at 145 / 89 (probably due to her annoyance at me, which to her credit she hid pretty well) so the nurse, instead of letting her relax for a few minutes and try again instead ordered a urine test.
Hypertension can be a symptom of preeclampsia and a cause of IUGR (IntraUterine Growth Restriction), which we were just warned about during our ultrasound. The test showed proteins and blood in the urine. The proteins could be caused by preeclampsia or it could be there because of the blood. Blood in the urine is apparently nothing to worry about on its own though because it could be from many things including the baby hitting Amber's bladder alot.
The combination of her small fetal weight, Amber's high blood pressure and the protein in the urine was a cause for concern and they wanted to run additional labs. Since it is after 4 on a Friday we'd typically have to wait until Tuesday for our results. Since preeclampsia can be a big deal I guess they decided that they would instead admit us into labor and delivery so we could get our lab results back in an hour, and during that time they could continue to monitor Amber's blood pressure as well as the fetal heart rate.
We were a bit shocked by the news of being checked in and wanted to understand what could happen depending on what the results of the tests showed. The midwife explained that in the worst case they would keep us admitted, and said or at least implied that they would then induce birth that weekend. We freaked out a bit, cried some, and realized how we were so not ready quite yet.
We get to the room, hooked up to all the machines and learned the normal ranges for the numbers on the monitor. They draw Amber's blood and have her take another urine test. As we sit longer, we see her heart rate drop back into her normal range: 119 / 66, and we start to feel alot better. That and the fetal heart rate behaving perfectly normally for half an hour really put us at ease. We felt as though we just had to wait for the results to come back so we could leave. They eventually came back, and as we expected they were normal. The process from walking in the door, to being checked out took about 3 and a half hours.
We went to the cafe to eat and then drove home and I managed to not make any wrong turns. One additional thing to mention is Amber is doing a couple of research studies during her pregnancy and maybe because the people running the studies tend to have a bit more free time, but they stopped by, talked to us and were very comforting and reassuring. It was really nice to have them there especially in labor and delivery when we were otherwise left alone. Two very long, stressful events today, but we are mostly filled with relief and looking forward to 6 whole days without having to see a doctor, nurse or ultrasound technician.
A little scared today
We had another level II ultrasound today. Below is the only picture we got from it. Not a good picture, I know, but Baby G just won't cooperate. Her face was once again buried in my hip. I'm not even going to bother posting pictures from the previous ultrasound, because they are also really unexciting.
What does this picture show you ask? Well, her face, sorta. you can see the bones in her arm at the front, and you can sorta see an eye. This is a profile shot. Just not a very good one. According to the sonographer, if she would move, we would most likely get beautiful pictures because there's plenty of amniotic fluid. But our little bundle of joy is already camera shy.
Now to the not so exciting part. Well, I guess it's exciting in the terrifying kind of way. Baby G was 16 days behind in growth today, which means she gained a day. But she dropped to the 7th percentile in size. Below is the summary page showing the graph and her EFW (estimated fetal weight).
They get the estimated fetal weight by taking a bunch of measurements of different markers, like head circumference, femur length, etc. The graph is shown in grams; so you have to do the conversion to lbs (1kg=2.2lbs). Right now, she weighs about 4 pounds, 1 ounce. Because she's been sticking pretty close to the lower 10% graph line, you can sorta guesstimate how much she'll weigh at different points by following that line. So if she were born at 40 weeks, she'd be a little over 6 pounds.
Before I said that they start to worry when the percentile drops below 10%, which today it did. And they were more worried. At this point, their concern really seems to be that maybe the baby isn't getting enough nutrients from my body. The doppler measuring the blood through the umbilical cord looked good, and there's plenty of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. She's also moving around the way she should, and her anatomy looks good. But they're concerned anyway. Of course, she could also just be small. Or there could be something wrong with her that the amnio wouldn't have detected. Or she could just be dated wrong.
I think if she would have stayed above the 10th percentile that they would have changed my due date. That doesn't look likely now. Instead, they might induce me to deliver even earlier. Which is way scary.
From what I understand, the reason they would induce me early (or at all) would be due to the nutrition concern. In other words, at some point it becomes better to get her out of there early rather than leave her in if there if she isn't getting enough of what she needs from my body. Because they can't be certain of whether or not there is a nutritional deficiency, they might decide it's safer to proceed as if there is.
This of course does not make me happy, because if it's a dating issue, and she's 2 weeks younger than they think, then they're pulling her out even earlier than they think. I'd rather give her as much time as she needs to develop. Pulling her out early seems scary.
And also, getting induced sucks. It makes labor and delivery harder in a lot of instances. You can only force so much. If your body isn't ready, it's just not ready. So if I were to be induced, I'd be a lot more likely to need other medical interventions to get her out. Which sucks for both of us.
They do at least want to give her time to hit what would be considered full-term even if there is a dating issue. Full-term is 36 weeks. So it's relatively safe to assume that they won't induce until at least 38 weeks, and the doctor's notes say that he wouldn't want to deliver at less than 39 weeks, unless something changes.
(Below are the doctor's comments.)
So I now have even more doctor's appts. The bliss of only going every 4 weeks for ultrasounds is gone. I now have one next week. This one will just measure the Doppler and make sure she's moving around enough and all that. They have to wait longer in between ultrasounds to measure growth...so the ultrasound for that is 3 weeks from today.
I found some of the individual measurements to be scary today as well. Last time around I looked at how many days a bunch of the measurements were off, and assumed that her head was keeping up better than her body because her head was less days behind. Either I misread, or there's less variations in head size, because her head circumference was less than the 3rd percentile today. Kinda scary to me.
On the up-side, the sonographer we saw today is the one I really like. She's very comforting. She wasn't supposed to show us this...but she did anyway. If you do adjust our due date by the 16 days we're behind by, then Baby G is growing just fine. She would be measuring in the 35th percentile then, which is still a little less than average, but way better than 7th. You can kinda figure all this out though by looking at the graph and seeing where we'd fall if our date is wrong.
OK. I think that's probably about all the news from today.
What does this picture show you ask? Well, her face, sorta. you can see the bones in her arm at the front, and you can sorta see an eye. This is a profile shot. Just not a very good one. According to the sonographer, if she would move, we would most likely get beautiful pictures because there's plenty of amniotic fluid. But our little bundle of joy is already camera shy.
Now to the not so exciting part. Well, I guess it's exciting in the terrifying kind of way. Baby G was 16 days behind in growth today, which means she gained a day. But she dropped to the 7th percentile in size. Below is the summary page showing the graph and her EFW (estimated fetal weight).
They get the estimated fetal weight by taking a bunch of measurements of different markers, like head circumference, femur length, etc. The graph is shown in grams; so you have to do the conversion to lbs (1kg=2.2lbs). Right now, she weighs about 4 pounds, 1 ounce. Because she's been sticking pretty close to the lower 10% graph line, you can sorta guesstimate how much she'll weigh at different points by following that line. So if she were born at 40 weeks, she'd be a little over 6 pounds.
Before I said that they start to worry when the percentile drops below 10%, which today it did. And they were more worried. At this point, their concern really seems to be that maybe the baby isn't getting enough nutrients from my body. The doppler measuring the blood through the umbilical cord looked good, and there's plenty of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby. She's also moving around the way she should, and her anatomy looks good. But they're concerned anyway. Of course, she could also just be small. Or there could be something wrong with her that the amnio wouldn't have detected. Or she could just be dated wrong.
I think if she would have stayed above the 10th percentile that they would have changed my due date. That doesn't look likely now. Instead, they might induce me to deliver even earlier. Which is way scary.
From what I understand, the reason they would induce me early (or at all) would be due to the nutrition concern. In other words, at some point it becomes better to get her out of there early rather than leave her in if there if she isn't getting enough of what she needs from my body. Because they can't be certain of whether or not there is a nutritional deficiency, they might decide it's safer to proceed as if there is.
This of course does not make me happy, because if it's a dating issue, and she's 2 weeks younger than they think, then they're pulling her out even earlier than they think. I'd rather give her as much time as she needs to develop. Pulling her out early seems scary.
And also, getting induced sucks. It makes labor and delivery harder in a lot of instances. You can only force so much. If your body isn't ready, it's just not ready. So if I were to be induced, I'd be a lot more likely to need other medical interventions to get her out. Which sucks for both of us.
They do at least want to give her time to hit what would be considered full-term even if there is a dating issue. Full-term is 36 weeks. So it's relatively safe to assume that they won't induce until at least 38 weeks, and the doctor's notes say that he wouldn't want to deliver at less than 39 weeks, unless something changes.
(Below are the doctor's comments.)
So I now have even more doctor's appts. The bliss of only going every 4 weeks for ultrasounds is gone. I now have one next week. This one will just measure the Doppler and make sure she's moving around enough and all that. They have to wait longer in between ultrasounds to measure growth...so the ultrasound for that is 3 weeks from today.
I found some of the individual measurements to be scary today as well. Last time around I looked at how many days a bunch of the measurements were off, and assumed that her head was keeping up better than her body because her head was less days behind. Either I misread, or there's less variations in head size, because her head circumference was less than the 3rd percentile today. Kinda scary to me.
On the up-side, the sonographer we saw today is the one I really like. She's very comforting. She wasn't supposed to show us this...but she did anyway. If you do adjust our due date by the 16 days we're behind by, then Baby G is growing just fine. She would be measuring in the 35th percentile then, which is still a little less than average, but way better than 7th. You can kinda figure all this out though by looking at the graph and seeing where we'd fall if our date is wrong.
OK. I think that's probably about all the news from today.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
My friend Jenni got published!
Jenni's one of the most creative people I know, and the most Martha Stewart like...but in a good way. She's sweet and genuine and caring and reminds me so much of Ohio (and all the people there that I love) that it's impossible for me not to love her. Her family is adorable, and she's my go-to person for any baby advice I need.
Jenni eventually hopes to write a book (fiction); so hopefully this will help her get there. Here's her first published story.
North Carolina misses you too Jenni! I know I do.
Jenni eventually hopes to write a book (fiction); so hopefully this will help her get there. Here's her first published story.
North Carolina misses you too Jenni! I know I do.
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